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I for one, as a citizen who certainly positively does not own a gun, am glad Joe is here to save us.

I guess I’ll proceed to put this sign up in my yard now:

 

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If you can make it through the feel-good banter and annoying production value of this fluff-piece, there is a very telling quote from a 2nd grade kid explaining her economic outlook…it is strikingly familiar.

The exchange went down like this:

Reporter: “If you were running for president, why should i vote for you?”

Adorable Kid: “I would like ask the rich people to give some of the money to the government and ask the government to give it to the people who really need the money.”

Reporter: “I represent the rich people now, I don’t want to give any more money.”

Adorable Kid: “Well, then you’re greedy…no offense”

For a 2nd grader, this is acceptable, even impressive that a still-forming mind can grasp the concept of redistribution.  Unfortunately, when these words are uttered from fully formed minds, it’s not nearly as cute.

Link to video in screenshot…

As a young boy, growing up on mean suburban streets, I had always thought that Steve Forbes was calling for a “fat tax” rather than a “flat tax.”  I naturally assumed this idea meant taxing fat people and I found this to be completely unfair.  It was not until much later in life that I figured out what Forbes was actualy proposing was a flat tax, which seemed more fair but much less fun.  Denmark, apparently, agrees that a fat tax would be a lot of fun.

The Denmarkians or Danes as it is more proper to refer to them by, will  pay an extra 30p on each pack of butter, 8p on a pack of crisps, and an extra 13p on a pound of mince, as a result of the tax.  We have no clue what a crisp nor a mince is, but they sound delicious.

We all know that controlling individual behavior by means of taxing it always turns out well, right?   With black markets, importing from neighboring regions without such taxes, and other work-arounds, we’re confident this ends well.

But our hacker did!

We’d like to thank the kind people of Vietnam, specifically Yoon Lee and Kwang Min An who performed some serious jujutsu and sorcery by accessing our Paypal and Gmail account from somewhere in Saigon.

The grand conclusion of a mostly idle Paypal account from 7 years ago for the infrequent eBay transaction has resulted in a dimly lit computer cafe being used to funnel cash through our Paypal accounts.  America!  American Express expertly emailed us within minutes and already placed a hold on the transaction, bravo.

So, a round of applause and hacker roll call for:

– Yoon Lee
– Bart Barry III
– Kwang Min An
– Patrick Kettleborough

“See A Charge You Didn’t Make?” – why, yes I do!


Remember, change your passwords often!  Total time expenditure, including this post – 3.5 hours.

The Federal Trade Commision and National Bureau of EconoLOLs has released a statement that Reebok will have to pay $25 million in a settlement over its EasyTone and RunTone Sneaks.  You know, the ones with those annoying billboards with a really fit women wearing sneakers that resemble space boots.  The implication of these ads being that “if you walk in these magical sneakers with the spirally things on the bottom, you’ll get super fit!.”  The other implication being that there are very desperate, lazy, and gullible consumers everywhere who take a look at these and think, “yes, that is my gateway to fitness”…

See the article here at Women’s Health…a surprisingly great source for macro-economic news as well as recipes for low-fat delicious desserts…

Crazy Sneakers Don’t Actually Make Women More Fit

Businesses pass costs onto the consumer, always.  We adore the cute calls by pundits to “regulate the banks” and “tax corporations” without an understanding of where an increase in cost actually lands.

Today, the most bankrupt of all banks, Bank of America, is set to charge debit card users $5 a month for the privilege of accessing one’s own nominal currency units.

For reference, here’s some populist bru-ha-ha on how we need to regulate those evil banks. 

We were too lazy to look it up, but Business Insider already has since we started typing this.  The Durbin amendment specifically caps debit card interchange fees.  We remember from being unborn in the 1970’s when the price of gas was capped and there were shortages. Hmmmm.

The econoLOL here is the inability for Durbin or anyone else to separate price from cost in the financial industry.  They are not the same, ever, and we can’t wait for this to be applied to the healthcare debate.  We’re not holding our breath for anyone in Washingtonvillelandistan to understand this.