Sorry, Come Back When Unemployed for 6 Months…

Last night, in the creepy, sycophantic style of a State of the Union address, Pres-O laid out his jobs bill to the country…as per usual I missed the first few minutes trying to find what network TV stations were not running the address and the only winner was WPIX which had an episode of Seinfeld on. After, switching back to the speech and doing my best Jerry impersonation, “what’s the deal with jobs!” I slumped forward on my couch and prepared to catch a few econolols…it didn’t take long.

A key provision of the American Jobs Act, as lectured to us last night, is that employers will receive $4,000 in the form of a sweet tax credit if they hire a new employee! Correction, if they hire an employee that was out of work! Second correction, if they hire an employee that was out of work for longer than 6 months! Third correction, if they hire this employee under a full moon…alright, we made this last one up but it might as well be in there.

So, in the magical world of government incentives, rather than just unburdening businesses from taxes and freeing up capital to invest, produce, and hire, our wise leaders are handing out some bucks to hire conditionally. Additionally, with another extension of unemployment benefits proposed, another incentive for good measure is thrown in creating this alternative universe where it’s optimal for a laid off worker to just kind of hang out for a while collecting unemployment until that 6-month mark is reached as they will become more hire-able at that point. They can then walk into an interview bearing the gift of $4,000 for the employer, who is forced to consider the length of unemployment of a candidate rather than just qualifications.

For those who are paying their dues at a rough job seeking out better employment, for those who have recently found themselves without employment, and for those employers who just want to hire the best candidate to help grow their company…this econolol is for you.

Check out the article here at or just run out and get the print issue, the centerfold this month is supposed to be pretty wild.

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